Dog tags ring, are you listenin'?
In the lane, snow is glistenin'.
I've been there tonight,
Marking up my winter wonderland.
Smell that tree? That's my fragrance.
It's a sign for wandering vagrants;
"Avoid where I pee,
it's MY pro-per-ty!
Marked up as my winter wonderland."
In the meadow dad will build a snowman,
Following the classical design.
Then I'll lift my leg
and let it go Man,
So all the world will know that it's mine-mine-mine!
Straight from me to the fence post,
Flows my natural incense boast;
"Stay off my TURF,
this small piece of earth,
I marked it as my winter wonderland." Unknown
Ten Peeves that Dogs Have About Humans:
1) Blaming your farts on me..... not funny... not funny at all !!!
2) Yelling at me for barking.... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG
3) Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?
4) Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. Stop it!
5) Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.
6) The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! Whoooo Hoooooooo what a proud moment for the top of the food chain.
7) Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back!
8) Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.
9) Dog sweaters. Hello ??? Haven't you noticed the fur?
10) How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth. You're just jealous. Now lay off me on some of these things. We both know who's boss here! You don't see me picking up your poop do you?
(dolled up doggy photo from: http://www.bowsbyhaley.com/)